I'm saying 'Boo!'

So... it has been brought to my attention (multiple times...) that I am a very negligent blogger. Popping on to say 'Boo!' :) I will be working on getting up some posts for the New Year, but for now, rest assured that I am indeed alive and well and will be posting. Finally, I'm saying 'Boo!' to my illness rather than it saying, 'Boo!' to me every morning :)

Love & happy holiday wishes to you all!

HOW to Ask

My friend over at LymeLight recently wrote two fantastic posts on what to say or NOT say to a person battling a chronic illness. I really liked her suggestions. They were practical, down-to-earth, and reasonable. One of the most common questions to not ask is something like "What are your symptoms?" Sometimes even "How are you?" can be a very overwhelming question.

My mother and other question-driven, interrogative-loving people like her often struggle with what to say and what not to say (or should I say, what to ask, and what not to ask?). But there's a simple solution out there. It's a preface - a disclaimer - a means to healthier communication. 

In this post, I want to address not only what to say to a person who is facing chronic illness, but how to say it. Or, more precisely, how to ask for information. Often questions and statements themselves aren't problematic; rather it is the manner in which questions are asked that is stressful, discouraging, or unhelpful.

So. What if people asked some of those questions not to ask, but prefaced them by saying something like this...?

"Are you up to telling me how you're feeling today?"

"Would you like to talk about some of your symptoms right now?"

"Is now a good time to ask you questions about Lyme? If it isn't, can you call me when you're up to talking about it?"

This approach to question asking and information seeking is sooooo incredibly helpful for those dealing with a chronic illness. Why?

Because asking, "Are you up for this...?" give me the freedom and option to say "No." 

I'm beginning to realise that these two aspects of communication (one, asking permission, and two, the ability to say yes or no) are absolutely fundamental, but sadly overlooked more often than not. 

Another important facet to communication is realising that every individual is different. For instance, #2 on Warrior's post of things to say is "How can I pray for you?" For me, this was one of the most overwhelming questions to ever answer during the worst part of my illness. In fact, the only more stressful question was probably "How are you doing spiritually?" That was one reason I created this blog. I needed a place where I could answer too-stressful questions like that in one place for everyone to read. 

To this day, if you ask me a question like that, I might him-an-haw and beat around the bush, simply because I'm not up for answering. Don't take this as a personal thing. If or when I become comfortable, I may choose to confide in you. But if I don't, understand that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I need boundaries in my communication with others for my own personal protection. And one great, easy way for me to set boundaries is to say, "No." And one great way for you to help me out in protecting my still-limited energy resources is to ask, "Is this okay...?" or "May I ask....?"

Just some thoughts, from me to you. :)

~Nella

The Things I Remember... And the Things I Forget

It really is funny the things our brains choose to remember. I was talking to some friends last Friday evening, and one of my best friends was talking about when she first came to our church. "It was an Easter Sunday," I remembered. "You were wearing a green sweater." This kind of memory wouldn't seem all that incredible... except for the fact that I can't seem to remember silly, mundane, day-to-day things like if I've taken my meds yet or not.

So that I'm not laughing alone, I thought I could share some of these moments with you.

Can you tell what doesn't belong in the knife crock?
(Hint: It's pretty small, and it's orange.)

I know this is small, so it's hard to tell...
but I didn't clip my pinkie nail.
Happens. ALL. The. Time. !!!!!

And (I don't have a picture for this one, but...) I forget to order supplements I need when I place my ginormous Vitacost orders. #headdesk. Good thing we have The Vitamin Shoppe and Wegmans!

In other news, this is my 100th post on Peek-a-Boo! Yay! :) And it's the first day of Spring! Double, triple, quadruple yay! Now, for it to get warm. =D

Day 21

Three weeks of the anti-candida diet already. It's hard to believe for me they've gone by so fast! I very seldom have food cravings or am tempted to slip, and when I am, I remember my silly "vow, oath, and solemn promise" I wrote out for myself on day one. I've made a few accidental slips. For instance, in trying to see how my body would react to almonds (which I had been avoiding since mid-November after being told I was allergic to them), I sampled some almond butter I'd bought for myself (back in early November... :P) which I did not realise contained a bit of sugar. Then a few afternoons ago I wanted some cereal, which I almost never eat, but I decided one bowl of rice chex wouldn't hurt me. Guess what? It had sugar. Some gluten free tortilla chips I'd bought for myself also had some evaporated cane juice. Sigh... and they were so good, too! My other occasional "oopsie" is related to food combining. Certain foods are not allowed to be eaten together in a candida diet. A classic example is Spanish rice, which is one of my favorite foods. But grains aren't supposed to be eaten with meat. Accidentally did that twice last week (Tuesday and Friday) and ended up with a headache/cold/fatigue, so I'll have to make sure to NOT do that again!

Other than that, so far, so good! I'm finding tons of yummy new foods. I should write a cookbook when this is over. "100 ways to prepare orange vegetables!" I think I have a vitamin A deficiency, because I'm always wanting carrots, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, and acorn squash! Sweet potato pancakes are my all-time new favorite breakfast food. So delicious! Try them for yourselves! Recipe here is uber simple.

10,000 Reasons... #7 & 8

Hey, faithful readers! Camille buzzing in to report some new blessings and wonderful life developments :)

Last year after the healing I had begun to experience with Dr. Agolli I felt that I was ready to return to work in November-ish. I spoke with some friends about this desire, hoping to get a job in a family friend's business. Things ended up not working out then for that position, but I continued to look online steadily from Christmas onwards. After only one week of job searching, I was hired to work as an administrative assistant, the very position I wanted. Great! Right? Well... not entirely. I wasn't sure about a lot of things with this company. My first warning signs were when the first day I wasn't really doing anything administrative assistantish. I was also being asked to use my personal resources instead of company materials, which led to some interesting situations when I was not always able to do what was asked of me because of limitations outside of my control. After the first two days, I was so bored with the job that I was wondering if I really wanted to stick with it. After the first two weeks were over, I was confused, came down with a cold, and still looking for jobs elsewhere. I contemplated turning in my two weeks notice. The uncertainties of the job were making it a cause of unnecessary stress in my life. I decided to stick it out, and things seemed to get better.

And then, after exactly four weeks of working for this company, I was called into the office and told that there was no work for me for the next few weeks and I would be called when my services were required again.

Great, I thought. I know I didn't really like this job, but... I was hoping to find something else before being done here. I failed to see how this was a good thing. But, as it so happens, it was a good thing. :) The time away from working allowed me to have several weeks to transition into the candida diet, which has proved to be time consuming and labor intensive where food preparation is concerned.

And then, I heard whispers coming from my family friends that maybe there would be an opening soon working for them. After emailing back and forth and a phone conversation, we determined that it was a good time for me to begin working at the office. And so, my training as an office worker at Jackson Plumbing begins today. And did I mention I get to work with my best friend? Oh yeah. Best. Job. Ever. And I haven't even started! Blessing #7 of my 10,000 reasons. :)

Blessing #8 is a person. His name is Peter. Peter and I became good friends at The Master's College where we were fellow students. Peter has an amazing way of listening to and answering questions. Since I've left TMC he's remained in contact with me through phone calls. We usually end up talking for at least an hour, catching up about life, but usually he helps me work through my (many, many, many...!!!) spiritual issues and problems. Last weekend he called and we had a great conversation about some "problem passages" in Leviticus and Numbers. I can honestly say that Peter has played a key role in my healing... from the spiritual aspect of things. Thanks, Peter! Thanks for being a Christ-follower in the truest sense of the word. Thanks for holding out hope to me when others didn't or couldn't. Thanks for always helping me find answers to my questions. Thanks for helping me to feel the presence and power of God again.

Day 9

Just popping in to write an update on how my candida diet is going. I can hardly believe it has already been a week! I have had no substantial cravings for the "forbidden foods" and have been able to keep myself eating a healthy, balanced diet by mentally scheduling my meals a few days ahead of time and keeping a journal as well. At first my appetite significantly increased on the diet. I think that was perhaps just an adjustment factor, and also excitement at getting to try so many different recipes. Now my appetite has settled down a bit, thankfully!, and I'm still moving ahead. I have noticed a significant increase in not only my energy but also my inclination to be active. I also notice a positive emotional impact due to the dietary changes. I have been prone to depression over the course of the past year, but nowadays the depression is very much easier to deal with and nip it in the bud. Stress no longer poisons my system, because I have found healthy ways to deal with it. I think soon I will be writing up some product reviews on the various supplements I've tried and the benefits and drawbacks to them, as well as some of the various ways and means I have found for dealing with stress. So stay tuned! :)

~Nella Camille~

Hard Thing: Breathing

Most, if not all of you, are probably familiar with the Rebelution and their theme phrase, 'Do Hard Things.' It means just what it says; you should do hard things instead of easy things. Doing hard things is something I've struggled with over the course of the past several years, even before I became sick, and since 'doing hard things' is so imbedded into my brain, its a difficult thing to stop. My hard things are transforming before my eyes.

Breathing never used to be a hard thing, but through some self-discovery a few weeks ago, I realised that something so simple and basic as breathing was actually a hard thing for me. The process of a breath seems so simple, that it seems almost impossible to think a person could breath 'wrongly.' Inhale - pause - exhale - wait. Then repeat. Over and over again. Automatically. Unthinkingly, almost.

I realised that after I deeply inhaled, I would pause for a brief moment and then puff out my exhale with an inaudible snort-like action. Then I would breath in again, as rapidly as I had exhaled. This panting-like method of breathing was getting me nowhere. I'm not sure which is more remarkable - that I was breathing wrongly, or that it took me so long to notice it.

Breathing became a very hard thing. I had to work to self-correct this pattern of wrong breathing. I noticed that it was most difficult to breathe properly when I was under stress. A friend worked with me a few times over Skype on some relaxation techniques, and the biggest one (besides slowing down my speech and thinking) was breathing.

Now I enjoy breathing. I will sit still for minutes at a time and feel the rhythmic motion of the breath going in my nose, expanding my lungs, stretching my diaphragm. I will hold that breath, savor it, and slowly let it out. Its smooth now. It's automatic. It's not effortless, yet, but it is wonderful... enjoyable.

I love to breathe.

Open Season

Blogging has been so sporadic! My apologies! I intended to blog a lot more during Invisible Illness Week rather than a lot less. Oh well. Now II week is over, but I hope to blog more in the next few days. I'm planning on doing a post later this week about an invisible aspect of illness (allergies and sensitivities) and how healthy people can help ill people who suffer from these kinds of invisible symptoms with very real complicating effects. Anyway, I'll save that for another post.

Today marks a week since I started Valtrex. Unfortunately, I had to stop it this week, at least temporarily. As my friend Heidi described it, here is a comic (without a picture. I'm not an artist. You'll have to use your imagination.) of what has been happening inside my body...

Body: AAAAAARRRRGGHHHH!!
Immune system: Hey! Look! The gun ban has been lifted - open season on EBV! Yeeeeeah!!
Body: AaaaaaaaAaaaaaHhhhhhh!

...or something like that.... :)

There has been so much going on inside my body through starting various treatments and trying various means of improvement. The Valtrex frees up certain parts of my immune system to fight the EBV and other things. Probably at least partially because of this, I've been 'normal person sick' for the first time in almost a year - and it's been intense. So I decided maybe my go-to advisor from PR was right and I should have waited to start the Valtrex after my body fought off the cold. We'll see what Dr. Conley says tomorrow when I call his office.

You'll have to wait until tomorrow to read about more of the self-discoveries I have been making and how I've been improving due to that.

Tomorrow!

You know how there are some days of your life where there seems to be a theme? You might see lots of a certain kind of car, or hear the same song in a few different stores, or hear the same word or phrase several times on the same day. Well, if today had a theme, it would most certainly be, "I am praying for you." I must have heard those words about 30 times today. Thank you, Body of Christ. You really blessed me today :)

Tomorrow is the day I see Dr. Conley in Michigan at 2:30 (EST)! I know this meeting has already been bathed in prayer, and I am looking forward to giving you all a report. 

Strengthened for today, hopeful for tomorrow --

~Camille

A Magical Evening

The beach is amazing. I went last night 'to read' while my family was biking. The sky was so bright blue and beautiful I was staring at that. I got distracted watching the sunlight hitting the trees behind me. Then of course I had to people watch for a while, and by that time the sun was setting. I don't know if I've seen a more beautiful sunset. As it was beginning, a man standing on a surfboard paddled out into the lake past the rock piles. While the sun was setting, he began blowing bubbles with a huge bubble wand. I've never seen anything like it in my life! Some of them were probably twenty feet long! have you ever seen a 20 foot long bubble pop? it starts at on end and just slowly evaporates away. Incredible, especially with the sunlight glistening off them. Truly a magical sight that I will remember for years to come.

What a magical reminder... that... the world is beautiful, and that I am such a very small part of it, so why focus on myself? Why not instead focus on the God who created it all? I felt like standing up and applauding the entire scene - the seagulls, frightened away by the bubbles; the sun, barely glistening over the horizon; the bubbles, soaring high up into the sky before popping; the people, watching in wonder. Why? Because God created and rules and governs it all.

If I would have had my Bible with me, I think I would have read Psalm 148. If you have the opportunity, why not take an evening this week to head outdoors to read this psalm and enjoy the scene God has created? He is so worthy of praise!

Photo Credit: Ewa Kurek

If that's a gown, I'm Kate Middleton!

One activity that was never on my bucket list was a 3 a.m. trip to the emergency room. But, when you wake up in pain at midnight and are still in pain two-and-a-half hours later and it seems to be getting worse, what are you supposed to do? Google what organs are on the left side of the body, that's what! Finding that the pain was generating from an area that could well be my spleen or something else that I probably didn't want to burst, I woke up my daddy and off we went.

As much as the whole ordeal of check-in, triage, nurse, intern, supervisor, doctor, phlebotomist, and discharge wasn't fun and did keep me up all night, I couldn't help but laugh a few times. (Maybe that proves how tired and out of it I was....) Solomon was right when he said, "A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones" (Proverbs 17:22).

A continuing source of mirth came from the standard medical garb we know as 'hospital gowns.' Who ever came up with calling that get-up of crazy-stiff, uncomfortable, itchy material a gown??? Brides wear gowns, and girls wear gowns to prom. But hospital attire is not a gown. And if that's a gown, then I'm Kate Middleton!

Another funny thing (to me) was just how insanely dated the whole place was. At one point, looking around, I said, "Looks like Florida." For some reason, decor from the 1950s-70s makes me think of Florida. I think the association remains from my grandma's trailer in Florida, which had similar colors, patterns, and textures.

I had a few laughs at the personnel from the hospital. In their defense, it was 3, 4, and 5 in the morning.... :) First, when I was checking in, the receptionist asked me where the pain was. When I told her I thought it was my spleen, she said, "Okay, so its on the right side?" With a confused look, I said, "No, my left." Afterward I asked my dad, "The spleen is on your left, isn't it?" He said he didn't know and so we looked up which side it was on his phone. It was on the left.
A few minutes later, while talking with the triage nurse, she took my blood pressure. I think the normal blood pressure is something like 120/80. Mine typically runs low, about 95/65 or somewhere around there. For the first time, I saw it today over 100 - it was 105/62. When I told her normally mine is lower, she assured me it was still great and perfectly normal. Then, my pulse. My resting heart rate is normally on the higher side, so I told her this, too, and when it was at 87, she said that was perfectly normal as well. I looked it up this afternoon. According to this chart, average for my age should be more around 74-78. I guess 'normal' is a very relative term in the medical community....
The other personnel were good, however. Had one med student who was very nice, especially since by this time it was 4 in the morning. It takes a lot to be awake at 4 a.m., let alone friendly! One funny (to me, anyway) part of the conversation. He was asking me about my experience with mono, and thought it was interesting that the closest thing I had to an official diagnosis was a chronic case of mono. "Usually mono resolves itself," he told me. "Well, for me it didn't," I replied. I didn't tell him there were three other people who had the same case of mono who agreed with me.... Thankful he was understanding and seemed to be a good listener.

One final funny story, this one from after we got home from the hospital.

Mamma: So does anyone know you went to the hospital?
Me: I told Isaac....
Mamma (interrupting): Well, obviously.
I just smiled.... :)


UPDATE on the medical records situation! We finally have all of them! Just picked them up from the doctor's office! It took a lot of convincing on the phone, but they finally gave me copies of my entire file. Praise the Lord! I'm not sure if your prayers or my dad's persuasive logic were more effective in the long run, but God used it all.

EDIT: It was brought to my attention that I didn't really explain the resolution of the visit..... :) The doctors told me it wasn't my spleen (in the words of the wonderful med student, "well the spleen lives up here," higher than the area my pain was originating from). It could possibly have been a pulled muscle or just a side effect of stress. I'm not currently feeling any pain, praise the Lord.

Friday Funnies

So, I decided I should do a lighthearted post on some of the funny things that I have said or typed that have resulted in some funny typos or comments. These are all just this week. :)

Texting typos

Me: We need to reply on the Lord.
Isaac: Let's rely on Him, too.

Me: Do you mean Tim your Russian friend? I just had the biggest mental blog trying to figure out who on earth Tim was....
Me, a few minutes later, after re-reading the first text: I meant mental block.


Super stupid spelling errors

• Deadication [Dedication]
• Evel [Evil]
• Yor [Your]
• Migrane [Migraine... apparently I've been spelling it wrong for years!]

Spoken communication

"Did I tell you he got the job at Pizza Hut?"
"At the moment he's at Pizza Hut filling out paperwork and getting into their computer system."

"I'm not sure. I know now that he's working at Pizza Hut he has to stay there for a little while."

All of the 'Pizza Hut' references are supposed to be Papa Johns. All three times I have been corrected. Whoops. 

Wrong word

I called a warehouse a factory.


UPDATE on the documents being faxed: My mamma called the office and asked to speak with the person responsible for faxing my records over to Michigan. Turns out she's currently on vacation and won't be back in the office until Monday. So, please keep praying that it will all get worked out! Thank you!

words, words, and The Word

These are words that have been swirling through my mind as I have been reading America Exhausted by Edward Conley. What words have been swirling around in your mind lately?

I must admit, there is a less admirable set of words swirling in my head. 

Do you have two sets of words? One of hope, the other of fear? If you do, you're not alone. Most of us have two lists of words - two ways of thinking. Sometimes its hard to tell which is right and which is wrong. But when faced with these two options, we must turn to the One Word that makes a difference - to the word of God. We must dig into This Word, and allow It to dictate the words of life to us. We must allow It to be the light in dark places when all other lights go out. This Word must be our Guide, or we will lose our way. This Word must be our Hope, or we will give into despair. This Word must give us life, or we will take our lives in hopelessness and despair. 

Be in the Word today, friends. 

Lookit what came in the mail!

My information packet and book from Dr. Conley's office arrived today! Excited to make the trip on Monday. This afternoon I've spent hours (literally) filling out the paperwork inside this packet. I am hoping, hoping, hoping and praying, praying, praying that Dr. Conley will be able to help me. And I am thankful for the knowledge that you - the people of God and my church family - are praying, too! Thanks for your e-mails and for checking out the blog. It is much appreciated.

Blessings,

~Camille

An Unlikely Thing

It is well into the afternoon, and yet I have not gotten out of bed because of tiredness that won't let go. And yet, my heart is very, very happy. Today, I rejoice in the life that has been given to me. I rejoice in the weakness, in the delays, and in the hardship. Because... today... I am delighting in God, in Him Himself. It seems most unlikely that I should be happy, but I have been praying daily, "Satisfy me in the morning with your steadfast love, o God, that I may rejoice and be glad all my days." He has been answering that prayer... one day at a time. And it is an unlikely thing that I should be happy today, but my God delights in making unlikely things - yes, even impossible things! - reality.

"This is the day that the LORD has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!" Psalm 118:24

Photo credit: Me. From a few summers ago. Flowers in the North Carolina mountains.

"I can't imagine..."

It always encourages me to hear that people from my church are reading this blog. It also slightly scares me, too. What will they think? Will they think I'm crazier than I already am? Will they think I'm making this up? Or will it provide a genuine window into my life? After some feedback last night, I was thankful to hear that people don't think I'm crazy, and are really concerned about how I am doing.

The phrases that I heard most often were things like this:

"I can't imagine what you're going through."
"I could never deal with all of that."
"I don't know how you do it."

My first reaction is, to be honest... I don't know how I do it either. In fact, sometimes I feel like I don't really do anything. It God's grace at work through me that enables me to continue with daily life.

My second reaction is... I don't know how some of you do it. I cannot imagine the pain some of you deal with, the situations you find yourself in taking care of elderly parents, or the struggles you face raising your children. I cannot imagine any of those things, in the same way you cannot imagine my limitations and challenges.

This exchange of mutual, "I can't imagines..." reminds me of Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 10:12 & 13.

"Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." 

I am thankful that God does not ask me to bear your trials, and I know most of you are thankful He has not given you my set of trials. But I am thankful (sometimes, right now I am... remind me of this later when I seem to need it!) that He has entrusted these trials, this suffering, to me. He has not revealed His reasons or the timetable, but He has commanded me that it is His will for me to rejoice during this time of testing.

"In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

So as you read this blog, please, don't admire me for my strength. I promise, I have more moments of utter weakness than sheer strength. Don't pity me for my pain. Pray for me, that my faith would be stronger, that my surrender would be fuller, that my heart would be steadfast, and that my gaze would be upward. I am happy to do the same for you. One of the good things about being mostly house-bound with no where to go, no one to see, and nothing to do is that I have a lot of time to pray for people. If you need prayer for something, please, let me know. I promise you I will forget, but I have a journal and a pen that will remind me every day when I look at my list of people to pray for. Leave me a comment, or e-mail me at ednella.godfollower@gmail.com.

God bless you more.

Last Night

I could tell after only a few minutes sitting down that the lighting issue had not been resolved. The yellow light seemed in some ways too bright, in other ways, too dim to properly see. The power point presentation glared, just the same way as it had last week. But not wanting to appear inattentive, I put up with it. It was a little better after the slides were finished and there was only speaking. The speaker was pacing back and forth. I settled down and just watched. I didn't make the effort to turn my head or neck. Perhaps that was a mistake. Perhaps if I had, what happened later would have been averted. I can't be sure either way.

In any case, suddenly, within a matter of seconds, I realised that I couldn't move. My legs were slightly crossed at the ankles. I could not move my legs, ankles, even my toes. My arms were folded one over the other. I couldn't move any of those either. All that I could move was my eye muscles. Back and forth, back and forth; up and down, up and down. I tried moving other muscles in concert with them. I tried to turn my neck. But as I tried, I felt a sensation of something clenching - gripping - grasping - at the base of my brain above the brain stem. My entire body began to clench, but not to constrict. I was a statue, only seeing and hearing and thinking, but completely and utterly unable to move. My jaw locked along with my neck, and even if someone had asked me if I was okay or not, I would have been unable to respond other than by a movement of my eyes. Stuck. At the end of the service, when my mom asked me what was wrong, tears began to slide down my cheeks. That was all I could do - cry.

There were things I wanted to say - things I wanted to do - people I wanted to hug and thank and encourage. My heart was so full, but the vehicle for conveying truth was utterly stopped. It took energy and effort to mutter a few words, and most of the time I wasn't understood or heard after all the effort.

Frustrated. Am I going to have to stop goming to church entirely? Am I going to be forced into sitting in the back where I can hear but not have to look up at whoever is speaking? Frustrated... because fellowship is being denied to me.

Oh, Abba, I know that 'this too will pass'. Help me to be patient until it does.


The neck unlocked, over an hour later. I can walk again. I can move my neck freely from side to side. But the fear that it will come back is strong.

And yet, I have a will to fight. This will comes from God's word, which tells me that He is good. He tells me to be strong and courageous, and that He is near me. And so I will wait, and pray, and do what I can do.

Little by Little, Inch by Inch

Have you ever been involved in a huge project, one that seemed beyond your ability to begin or complete? Right now I am in the midst of a few of those kinds of projects. One began about a year ago when I started researching and purchasing replacement items for our upstairs bathroom. It took a long time to decide what color scheme, what finish of fixtures, which vanity, and what kind of tile would be both attractive and good quality. I spent lots of time reading reviews of items and trying to compare prices. Now, a year later, I've finally started the stripping of the current wallpaper - after still more research on the best way to do that and a few trips to the store for supplies! Removing the wallpaper means that all the cheap vinyl baseboard had to come off, too. And the border around the ceiling. And the screws and wall fixtures. Next will be the ripping out of the linoleum tiling. But it all takes time... and effort. Sometimes I am able to work for a long time, but other days I feel like I just got everything set and then I feel like I have to lay down. But the key is progress a little bit at a time - "little by little, inch by inch." Lots of things in life work by that principle. Growing up, education, reading a book (one word at a time), or even writing this blog post. Nothing happens immediately, but with time, effort, and a little patience, the finished result of diligence is worth it.

A Big Blessing - A True Friend

Photo Credit: Isaac. Because we are that good at self-portraits!

Do you have a friend - a special friend who always seems to understand? I do. His name is Isaac, and right now I am blessed to be spending a lot of time with him since he is visiting me! We're watching my favorite movies, trying new recipes, taking walks, dominating at Sudoku, studying history, and playing games. 

What's so great about Isaac is that not only is he my friend, he is also good at taking care of me and is understanding of my physical limitations. There are few friends who are truly accommodating of an invisible illness, but he is one of them for sure. He just somehow knows when I've had enough activity and need a break. He is willing to run downstairs and grab the cup of water I forgot again, or make a trip down the basement while we're cooking to find an ingredient we need. And he does it all willingly! And did I mention he has great taste in music? He pointed out to me that two of the three "encouraging songs" I posted a few days ago were his recommendations. 

Thanks for loving me, Friend. I'm blessed to know you. 

Internet Church-Goer

On my primary blog, Think Upon These Things, I posted a little while ago about Costly Worship. My worship doesn't feel very costly sometimes. But there has been one thing that has changed about church attendance since my illness began. I now 'attend' church online. Whether its from the comfort of my bedroom or the slightly-less comfortable (but still quiet and cool) church office, I seldom am able to participate in a church service. Singing, standing, and interacting with so many people all in the space of a few hours prove too much of a mental stimulus for me, so I typically arrive at church with my mom between Sunday School and church, greet a few close friends, and then head downstairs to listen to the service from the livestream. Sometimes I lay down on the couch in the office. Other times I sit up with my Bible open and take notes. But whatever I end up doing, it usually isn't what most people think of when church attendance comes to their minds. I am thankful for our church's technical crew, especially my brother, who set up the live stream several years ago, who maintain this system and make it possible for me to at least listen, even if I am unable to actively participate.