I have been so encouraged by the recent influx of comments that I have received regarding my recent streak of blog entries! Some have been via email, others verbal, and still others, actual comments on the blog. I love, welcome, and appreciate the feed-back! Keep it coming!
A few of you have mentioned that the theme of the simple life has resonated with you, or has been something you've been working on as well. It seems many people are coming to the realisation that I have as well: we need to stop killing ourselves with convenience, stop to take a deep breathe, and once we do, we will enjoy life.
I think very few people disagree with me that our lives are lived in a fast-paced world and could use a little TLC for the benefit of ourselves and those around us. But we struggle with the how. How can I slow down? How can I afford to? What does it take to live a simple life?
I come to you with answers from Kate Hanley who blogs at Ms. Mindbody. She offers several practical suggestions taking the guesswork out of life. She specifically focuses in her post on self-care. Self-care is an important part of the simplified life, because when we take care of our own selves, we are better equipped to care for others. So, without further ado, here is Kate's list of ideas for better self-care habits.
Set up some structures - "structure creates freedom"
Set up a schedule
Commit to a plan
Tie self-care to daily events
Let go of how long ______ "should" last
Set intentions
Flip your view of resistance. "The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek" (Joseph Campbell)
Which ones are you already doing? Which ones do you need to work on? I think my strong-point is setting up structure, a schedule, and a plan, but then having unrealistic expectations (such as, I should do _____ for X minutes a day, or I should do ______ at this time of the day) and then become discouraged when I fail to meet them.
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone." -Blaise Pascal
Pascal was onto something. Mankind does have a problem, and it is two-fold. One, we have forgotten how to rest, and two, we have forgotten the beauty of being alone.
Science has often been compared to the process of trying to move forward in a darkened environment. As you reach forward with your hands, you are sometimes bitten by wild animals; as you shuffle forward with your feet, you sometimes trip over hidden obstacles. But as you move forward, step by step, knowledge increases, and so does the light around you. Moving forward in the dark is a scary undertaking. But thankfully, there are those who are able to conquer their fears and move forward.
I've felt a bit like I've been pushing back the darkness the past several months as I have explored my conditions and ways and means of helping them. Maybe you feel like you are pushing back the darkness as you explore other areas of your life--a new relationship, a different role in life, or a difficult adjustment. Sometimes in life we run into dead ends, road blocks, or unhelpful and unhealthy solutions. But other times we find ones that work, ones that will last, and ones that change our lives.
I've discovered that Pascal's suggestion of being alone, sitting quietly, is a good one. Actually, I discovered it a few months ago and only recently found the quote to go with this post. :) And what is it that I do while I am alone? I breathe. Just breathe. Sitting, quietly, breathing.
You should try it some time. Really. I mean it. I even have special "breathing" songs. This one is one of them. Let me know how it goes! I recommend deep breathing for all kinds of problems, including and especially stress relief, but for good health in general.
Hey, faithful readers! Camille buzzing in to report some new blessings and wonderful life developments :)
Last year after the healing I had begun to experience with Dr. Agolli I felt that I was ready to return to work in November-ish. I spoke with some friends about this desire, hoping to get a job in a family friend's business. Things ended up not working out then for that position, but I continued to look online steadily from Christmas onwards. Afteronly one week of job searching, I was hired to work as an administrative assistant, the very position I wanted. Great! Right? Well... not entirely. I wasn't sure about a lot of things with this company. My first warning signs were when the first day I wasn't really doing anything administrative assistantish. I was also being asked to use my personal resources instead of company materials, which led to some interesting situations when I was not always able to do what was asked of me because of limitations outside of my control. After the first two days, I was so bored with the job that I was wondering if I really wanted to stick with it. After the first two weeks were over, I was confused, came down with a cold, and still looking for jobs elsewhere. I contemplated turning in my two weeks notice. The uncertainties of the job were making it a cause of unnecessary stress in my life. I decided to stick it out, and things seemed to get better.
And then, after exactly four weeks of working for this company, I was called into the office and told that there was no work for me for the next few weeks and I would be called when my services were required again.
Great, I thought. I know I didn't really like this job, but... I was hoping to find something else before being done here. I failed to see how this was a good thing. But, as it so happens, it was a good thing. :) The time away from working allowed me to have several weeks to transition into the candida diet, which has proved to be time consuming and labor intensive where food preparation is concerned.
And then, I heard whispers coming from my family friends that maybe there would be an opening soon working for them. After emailing back and forth and a phone conversation, we determined that it was a good time for me to begin working at the office. And so, my training as an office worker at Jackson Plumbing begins today. And did I mention I get to work with my best friend? Oh yeah. Best. Job. Ever. And I haven't even started! Blessing #7 of my 10,000 reasons. :)
Blessing #8 is a person. His name is Peter. Peter and I became good friends at The Master's College where we were fellow students. Peter has an amazing way of listening to and answering questions. Since I've left TMC he's remained in contact with me through phone calls. We usually end up talking for at least an hour, catching up about life, but usually he helps me work through my (many, many, many...!!!) spiritual issues and problems. Last weekend he called and we had a great conversation about some "problem passages" in Leviticus and Numbers. I can honestly say that Peter has played a key role in my healing... from the spiritual aspect of things. Thanks, Peter! Thanks for being a Christ-follower in the truest sense of the word. Thanks for holding out hope to me when others didn't or couldn't. Thanks for always helping me find answers to my questions. Thanks for helping me to feel the presence and power of God again.
I purchased this tea as part of my anti-candida diet as this bark is well known to have anti-candida properties. If you are interested in finding out more about how that specific aspect of Pau d'Arco tea, I recommend that you check out this page. I found and purchased Pau d'Arco tea locally at Wegmans, which is a healthy grocery store we are blessed to have in Erie. I've also seen it at Giant Eagle for a little bit more. Vitacost sells a few different brands.
The brand I chose is called Traditional Medicinals. My impression is that this is a high-quality brand with excellent product integrity. The tea is pure Pau d'Arco herb at a pharmaceutical grade level, so you know you're getting the real deal.
The taste of this tea is... just... strong and just very slightly bitter. It isn't a bad taste, but I find it difficult to drink just this tea by itself. That being said, I usually try to mix this tea with another tea with a more pleasing flavor. My favorite combination is Pau d'Arco with Egyptian Licorice, which I purchase from Wegmans or Vitacost (you can buy in bulk!) as well. The brand I chose for this tea is Yogi. It has a very naturally sweet flavor which adds balance to the strong Pau d'Arco flavor. I should mention, however, that it is not recommended that all people drink licorice tea since it raises blood pressure. Since I have consistently low blood pressure, Dr. Conley recommended that I drink licorice tea frequently as a natural blood-pressure stabilizer. I don't mind; it's yummy! :) Other recommendations of things you could mix it with are raspberry leaf tea. I've tried it with ginger tea, which is alright. Ginger tea is a digestive aid, so it seems that mixing these two teas is a good idea, even if the flavor is not the best in the world. I will be reviewing my particular ginger tea in a few days.
Let me know what you think of Pau d'Arco if you decide to try it!
Have you ever filled a water balloon up with too much water and had it explode all over you? It happens to almost everyone at least once. It's not such a bad problem to have when its blazing hot outside in the middle of the summer time. But sometimes an emotional breakdown also happens when it's not convenient... when it's unwelcome.
I think our emotions can sometimes explode on us like a too-full water balloon. Whether it's anger boiling over, scalding yourself and those around you, or if it's sadness that rains down like a cloudburst, we all know the feeling of loosing control of our emotions.
Recently as part of my journey to healing I've been experimenting with different methods of emotional control. One of the helpful techniques I have uncovered that I want to share with you today is called emotional freedom technique (abbreviated EFT), or tapping. It is based on a combination acupuncture/acupressure points linked to energy meridians in the body and positive affirmations. Anyone can learn EFT in a matter of five minutes or less.
I will admit, the first time I was exposed to EFT, I thought it was a little wacky. What can tapping all over your body and talking out loud to yourself possibly accomplish in relieving emotional pressure? Well, surprisingly... quite a lot! More than you would expect, at any rate.
Besides being a bit wacky, I wasn't quite sure that I theologically agreed with some of the premises behind EFT. I wasn't comfortable with being so honest about my emotions. I wasn't comfortable with being okay with them, or with the strange idea of forgiving myself for having them. Being raised as a Christian, I think one thing that is lacking in the evangelical church is a healthy method for dealing with emotions. In fact, I think I was almost taught to ignore and suppress my emotions. This approach is inadequate. Emotions are real. They can be life-dominating. But there are ways of dealing with them rather than whipping out one Bible verse like the proverbial bandaid on a broken bone.
Emotions need to be acknowledged and taken at face value. I appreciate John Piper's remarks in When I Don't Desire God along this vein. Piper is one of the few Christians who I have seen deal with emotions and their place in the Christian walk. In this book, Piper points out that Joy and Delight in God are commands. Hear that? Commands. An emotional response is commanded. You do it - you're good. You don't do it - you're sinning.
So what happens when we don't? We ignore that emotion, right? Um, nooooooo. We pray. We say, Abba, I know I'm supposed to be joyful, but right now I am upset. I am burdened by the challenges I am facing. I am struggling. Please forgive me for my sin, but please help me to obey! Empower me with Your Spirit.
Do you notice what is different in the Piper approach? There is a stated or unstated, "Even though...." There is an acknowledgement of what is lacking. That's what it's supposed to be like. Emotions were never meant to be denied. If they are, why do we have them? If we deny them, we cannot work through them. And we end up like that exploded water balloon and have a big mess on our hands. So here's an "even though" we all need: Even though your emotions might be out of control right now, they can be controlled. Youcan control them. The power to do so is within your grasp.
After understanding this and beginning to grasp it's impact on the way I live my daily life, I became more open to EFT. I no longer saw it as something wacky. I began to see it as something I had been looking for all my life without knowing what it is I was really searching for. It was a way to release the emotions healthily rather than to allow them to dam up and stagnate, only be be triggered again at a later time. It was a way to purge my body of long-standing stressors and unhealthy emotional patterns.
Again, as I mentioned earlier, EFT is a combination of using your fingertips to tap on designated points, mostly around the face, and speaking or whispering a series of positive affirmations to yourself. The tapping points are easy and I recommend checking out this article and the diagrams it contains if you wish to learn them. You'll have the hang of it in no time, I promise!
The 'positive affirmations' bit is a little trickier. The idea behind it is that, if you repetitively speak the truth that your heart and soul need to hear, it will eventually become ingrained in your body as a subconscious and steadfast knowledge. We actually do this all the time. Think about your favorite songs, quotes, or what you like to talk about. Don't those concepts and styles become embedded into your very personality? My dad has a playlist of songs he listens to daily. Why? It's his own way of doing EFT, and he doesn't even realize it ;) He is preparing his mind for the action of the day through what he is listening to every morning. What about your cell phone alarm or phone ringtone? All these things send us subtle messages, and our body absorbs them, even if the mind does not make a conscious effort to. It's like this quote below:
"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." (Source debatable)
So think of it this way: if you can change your thoughts which are leading to worry, lust, anger, guilt, greed, manipulation... whatever it is you are doing battle with and desire to conquer... then you can change your destiny. EFT assists in that process of changing your thoughts be actually making you think about them (duh) as you articulate those thoughts with precise words, which in turn helps you learn to believe the truth. And, by forcing your mind to recognize your emotions, you are actually following the Biblical command to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). If you constantly think about all the food you want to eat, you will feel hungry constantly and I promise you, you will overeat. If instead you focus on feeling full and satisfied, you will in turn feel that way. If you dwell on your past mistakes, refusing to accept God's forgiveness and refusing to forgive yourself, you will be plagued by guilt. If instead you meditate on the cross and the finished work of Christ, you will be free. And on and on it goes. But you have to acknowledge the sin and look it in the face before the liberation can take place.
I am planning on trying to make some videos within the next few days of EFT sequences written specifically for believers who want to learn more about and practice EFT without the overly emotional, sometimes psychological overtones of most EFT routines available on the Internet. Hopefully I will be able to film and upload them to YouTube within the next few days. So, stay tuned!
In the mean time, you can actually practice EFT to many songs. I like this song below, which I actually use as a regular part of my morning routine because it takes an honest look at emotions and follows the "even though" template, answering the "even though..." with the power and presence of God.
Even though I feel so lonely Like I have never been before You never said it would be easy But You said You'd see me through the storm.
Joyfully yours,
Camille
Reason for Use: I ordered this product, as I did the previous product I reviewed, for its anti-parasitic and general wellness qualities. Again, I use this product on a rotational basis--on for a few days, then on to something else, then back to this. My mom is trying it too, for general wellness.
Initial Impressions: The first time I tried this juice, I had not chilled it. (It was sitting in our basement until I was ready to open it.) The flavor was quite strong. It had a sort of zest to it that I wasn't expecting, like drinking straight lemon juice. After chilling it and trying it the second day, it was better and I hardly noticed the crazy flavor I'd detected the first day. The third day I tried it, I actually mixed it with lemon juice and used it when I swallowed my pills, just to see how that would go. I don't think I will do that again, because it seemed stronger again, and now I actually enjoy the flavor of straight lemon juice, so... I'll just have them separately. As with the last product, I have no experience with any other kind of aloe juice, but I am pleased and will most likely stick with this brand for future orders. Product pros: This is a great product! Not only is it inexpensive as far as aloes go, it is also USDA certified organic! And I was able to get at for a buy one, get one half-off, so since I purchased four, one of them was free.
Product cons: I don't know if I have ever seen aloe sold in glass jars, but it sure would be nice if someone would do that. It'd probably jack up the price, but, I would be happier.
Oil of Oregano is well known as a general wellness supplement that many people choose to take in the winter time because it is helpful for fighting colds. I chose this product for its anti-parasitic effect. The first time I took it I simply mixed the drops in water like I usually do, only to be driven to the sink multiple times in a row for a refill on my cup. That stuff is strong! Although this product by Source Naturals has a strong flavor, fortunately I found a way to make it work for me: mixing it with lots of olive oil! This is a better alternative than mixing the product with water since this is an oil-based liquid, something I knew subconsciously but wasn't thinking of the first time I dropped it into my water. I take this supplement in rotation with several other products, taking each one for about four days in a row before moving on to something else. I cannot compare this product to any other, sadly, because this is the first brand I have tried. But after my 140-some doses run out, I think I will try Oreganol next time!
Just popping in to write an update on how my candida diet is going. I can hardly believe it has already been a week! I have had no substantial cravings for the "forbidden foods" and have been able to keep myself eating a healthy, balanced diet by mentally scheduling my meals a few days ahead of time and keeping a journal as well. At first my appetite significantly increased on the diet. I think that was perhaps just an adjustment factor, and also excitement at getting to try so many different recipes. Now my appetite has settled down a bit, thankfully!, and I'm still moving ahead. I have noticed a significant increase in not only my energy but also my inclination to be active. I also notice a positive emotional impact due to the dietary changes. I have been prone to depression over the course of the past year, but nowadays the depression is very much easier to deal with and nip it in the bud. Stress no longer poisons my system, because I have found healthy ways to deal with it. I think soon I will be writing up some product reviews on the various supplements I've tried and the benefits and drawbacks to them, as well as some of the various ways and means I have found for dealing with stress. So stay tuned! :)
I still remember the surprised look on her face. "You what?"
I repeated again, "I'm on a special diet and I can't eat sugar."
"But, there is sugar in everything!" she protested.
I agreed. "Yes, which is why I'm not even able to eat fruits and have to be careful about my carbohydrate intake."
I ran into her again at the other end of the store where she asked me how long my diet was going to last.
"Six months," was my answer.
"Good luck," she wished me.
"Thanks!" I'll probably never see her again, but the conversation will stick with me for a long time.
It is difficult to pursue healing. Very difficult. It is time-consuming. It is costly.
It'd be easy if there was a miracle cure out there for Candida albicans, CFS, or cancer... but there just isn't. Progress has been made on all those fronts, but there is just no simple, easy, one-size-fits-all, just-take-this-pill answer.
And... I might shock you when I say... I don't think there ever will be.
There is a very innate, intuitive reason why we all are skeptical of "miracle cures" to our weight loss, health, and pain problems. We all realise that the human body just doesn't work that way. We realise that it takes time and effort for us to cause these problems, and that the solutions will often take longer. It is easy to accidentally cut a garment when removing a tag; it is more difficult to restore the garment to its original state of perfection. We know that the human body works the same way.
The more I learn about health and wellness, the more careful I become. The more I see and discover in my past that I thought was perfectly okay for me to eat or do which has actually caused very deep and lasting damage.
My heart breaks for the poor, exhausted mother who drains her body's precious adrenal resources by taxing this small but vital gland with the strain of numerous morning cups of coffee. My heart aches for the college student eating another cup of noodles because he doesn't understand that it isn't real food. My heart cries for those who were once thin, trim individuals who have succumbed to the toxic lure of fast food and soda, or even "healthy" yogurts, granolas, and juices which are loaded with sugar, preservatives, artificial and genetically modified ingredients.
The reason I don't believe in miracle cures is because almost everything we do stands in the way of allowing some of natures miraculous healing remedies to work. We are building road blocks when we should be clearing roads. We are holding up traffic where it ought to flow. We are ruining our lives with convenience.
And, so, when a problem arises, a process begins.
Our eyes are gradually opened. We've brought this upon ourselves. Our own choices have spelled the ruin of our health. We begin to see, for the first time. We've been tricked. And it isn't easy to take off the blinders, to foster the awareness of what the body truly needs, and to spend time in the kitchen preparing healthy food when we used to just take for granted what we could purchase at the store.
Are you willing to take the time? Are you willing to wait? Are you willing to admit you were wrong, that you were deceived, that you contributed to the state of our own downfall.
I am. Because it's the only chance I have for healing.
I can't sit around and wait for a miracle pill. But I can start rebuilding from the ground up.
People often wonder, "How long have you had candida? To be honest, I wasn't sure. Until yesterday. That was when I realised exactly when I got candida, and how.
An anti-candida diet is composed of legumes, beans, lentils, whole grains, vegetables, seeds, nuts, and meat. Grains are soaked and cooked, and eaten with vegetables, lentils, beans, or other grains. Grains are never combined with meats, as this hinders proper digestion. Meats are served with vegetables. The carbohydrate content of the diet is purposefully kept low. Probiotics, lemon juice, garlic, and fresh foods play an important part in killing the candida albicans.
Okay, now rewind to February 2010 of my life. I was living in North Carolina at the Mission. My roommates and I had just finished three-month shopping.
Three month shopping?
Yup. Three month food shopping. Buying a three-month's worth supply of food (which ended up lasting six months...) and not making any more trips to the grocery store except for milk and eggs.
My typical diet consisted of cold cereal with milk for breakfast; chicken with rice or pasta for lunch, or maybe a sandwich, or potatoes; and dinner was usually some kind of soup or meat dish.
No whole grains. Improper food combining. Stored food. Frozen rather than fresh vegetables. Grain-fed meat.
Was it any wonder my immune system was working overtime? Was it any wonder my skin was pimply and my hair came out in large quantities in the shower? Was it any wonder I gained weight and felt sluggish by the time spring rolled around? Nope.
And that, folks, is how I got candida. So the moral of the story is, shop for food frequently rather than in large quantities! Shop for fresh foods with whole nutrition. And read all you can about nutrition... before it's too late and you wind up with a nasty chronic bug yourself!
Before Valentine's Day, thousands of people go out to go shopping to find the perfect gift for that special someone. They really needn't go to all that trouble. They already have a very unique gift at their disposal... but so often it is overlooked, and never given as it should be.
This year, I am involved in a gift-giving process that continues to multiply. So far, I have given my hands to a friend who is having a bit of trouble with her own. I have given my ears to a lady who likes to talk a lot. I have given my very limited artistic ability to some friends who took care of me last year. I have even given myself something--the time, energy, and consideration to prepare healthy meals that I can eat, even going so far as to plan out menus and prepare meals ahead of time.
And the giving will continue. I plan to give my eyes to a lady who can't see too well but loves to read. I plan to give love to another lady who is lonely and doesn't get out too often. And I am sure I will think of other things and ways to give, too.
This gift I am giving... is myself. It is my time, my energy, my talents, my affection, my understanding, and my attention.
It doesn't take a lot of time, energy, or effort to give the gift of yourself. But it means a lot to the one who receives the gift, because it is a personalized gift that can be received from no one else. And, the gift gives back to you. It gives true and lasting joy, knowing that what you did was special to that other person.
What are you giving? What is it giving back to you?
I'm not doing Lent this year. (I never have, you see.) I'm doing something much more difficult. I'm going on an anti-candida diet. As of... today!
As a slightly humorous bit, but also to keep myself accountable to a standard, I wrote this up this afternoon.
I, Camille W-----, do solemnly swear that from this day henceforth to eat neither sugar, fruit, nor fruit or sugar-containing foodstuffs until my health, conscious, and medical advisory team sees fit to release me from this vow, oath, and solemn promise.
I resolve that even when I think to myself, “No one will know,” to call to mind the rememberance, “No man or woman might know. But you will know. And so will the candida albicans in your intestines. And their judgment will be harsher than anyone else’s.”
I resolve to starve the candida albicans.
Signed with the greatest solemnity, CW
Are you participating in Lent this year? What are you giving up, and why are you doing it?
What's your wake-up routine? Are you one of those people who is a night person, always getting to bed late, waking up tired, and has to hurry-skurry around the house in the morning in order to make it to work on time? Do you drink your coffee on the run, or buy it from Starbucks on your commute? Or are you a Benjamin Franklin type, "early to bed and early to rise," with everything carefully set in order for each day?
I guess I'm a little bit of both. I generally take it easy in the morning, allowing my body to wake naturally, and from then on out following a fairly regular pattern. Get up. Breakfast and pills. Bit of computer time. Make my bed. Exercise. Sometimes walk. Shower. Get dressed. Then my day really starts with whatever food prep, research, writing, or activities I have planned for myself.
I think it's a pretty typical routine for a person in my age and stage of life. There's nothing really that stands out about it too much (except maybe the number of pills that I take). This probably comes across as odd to most of you, but, my favorite part of my morning routine is making my bed. (Yeah, I know. Stick with me.) I know a lot of people aren't too keen on making their beds. But to me, it isn't a chore. It's not a burden. It's a symbol. A right that I have earned, in some respects.
Because... I didn't always used to get up in the morning and make my bed. I used to wake up and just lay there for hours, sometimes days, only leaving it when absolutely necessary. That bed and I used to be pretty tight. No more. Sure, I like my lazy morning in bed every once in a while over the weekend as much as the next gal, but I'm thankful now that when the sun comes up and shines through my window, I can get up and wish it a good morning, say "Toodles!" to that bed for a good number of hours, and live a little.
And I suspect I'm not the only one in the world who is thankful to be able to make his or her bed. Think about this man.
After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda,having five porches. In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had. Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, "Do you want to be made well?" The sick man answered Him, "Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me." Jesus said to him, "Rise, take up your bed and walk." And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.
This Hebrew man went for thirty-eight years without making his bed. Thirty-eight years. I can't imagine. He was probably a paralytic, or at least a cripple. Thirty-eight years with no job but being a beggar. Thirty-eight years without a late-night or early morning walk along the shoreline. Thirty-eight years without dancing, leaping, sprinting, or jumping. Thirty-eight years is a long time.
But then, he is healed. He can do things for himself again. He can not only walk, but he can become a participating member of society again. He can take up his bed and carry it, despite not being able to pick himself up and get into a pool just moments before. Don't miss the detail, because it is important. He took up his bed. He walked. It was a miracle, but it involved a very mundane detail to most of us. But to that man, the act of taking up his bed meant everything in the world. It meant that things had changed.
I write this post hoping to inspire some perspective in you, my readers, who are generally quite well. Your burden--the task you have to do, don't want to do, are putting off doing--is my blessing. What you complain about as an insignificant detail of life, I rejoice in as a sign of healing.
Just remember that next time you straighten the sheets and smooth out the comforter.
~Nella Camille
Last evening someone asked me a question I haven't quite been able to come up with an answer to: what is your dream job? This question was asked in the context of my current search for employment as things with my last job didn't seem to work out too well, and I'm hoping to have something else soon.
To be perfectly honest, I think I'd have to create a job in order for it to be my dream job. Right now, here is what my dream job description would look like:
A relaxed, positive environment in a low-stress situation. This, because it would promote my first priority of healing.
A challenge. Something I'm not used to. This, so that I can grow to be stronger.
An assignment which can be done in a variety of locations. This, so that I can work outside, inside, at home, or in an office.
A low-hours, high-pay job. This, because I'm still an idealist and haven't learned their isn't such a thing. :)
A position in which I can feel useful and beneficial to humanity. This, because I love people, and I do love work as well.
A supervisor who loves creativity and encourages it. This, so I can express myself daily rather than conform to a mold of professionalism.
My needs are really quite simple. At this point, my expenses are minimal. My view of life has also changed. I used to work, work, work so hard all day, every day. Now, most of my work is quite sedentary, sitting at my workstation in my room, typing away at my computer. But I have grown to love my new, slower-paced life.
A simple life. A simple job. Simple joys. Simple happiness. That's now what I want from life, in a way I never did before.
Fact is, I still need lots of down-time to rest after a big day full of activities. I need a morning here and there to just relax, unwind, and breathe deeply. Whether its a winter's morning with a mug of tea in my hand and a novel in my lap, or a spring afternoon spent sitting in the sun at the peninsula, my body has come to crave and enjoy these periods of rest.
I want to be able to work at a job that can easily become invisible, blending quietly into the background of my life rather than dominating it. I want a job that accommodates my lifestyle of simplicity. It has become important to me. And I don't want to give it up.
This isn't laziness. It's really the world the way it should be.
You see, I firmly believe that people should taste their food. They should savor every mouthful, distinguishing between the cool, crisp tastes of veggies, the sweet tang of dressing, and the warm neutral flavor of grilled chicken. I firmly believe that breathing deeply is the most overlooked, underrated form of anti-depressants and stress-relieving medication. I firmly believe that the simple act of writing your thoughts in a journal or in a personal letter allow for free expression of emotions which we so often forget to acknowledge. I firmly believe in singing, laughing, dancing, walking, running, splashing, and all the exuberance appropriate to accompany those things. I believe, simply, in living... and in living simply.
And so, my profound advice to the world? Slow down.
I found this hard to begin with during my illness. What? Slow down? But the world rests on my shoulders! If I say "no" to this or that, what will happen to this program or that group?
This morning I was thinking about a particular issue and wondering what the cure was for that particular situation. A cure is something almost instant. It grants sure-fire, instant results. Our society is always searching for the cure... But I think there are very few cases in which we have actually found it.
Usually what we discover on our way to searching for a cure is actually more along the lines of symptom relief. We cover up the body's pain signals and declare that the problem has been fixed.
But has it been?
In some cases, yes. Taking Valtrex and slowly killing a virus in order that it can no longer reproduce itself does--after a long time--attack and solve a long-standing problem. But in another sense, the action of taking the medication can give an impression of curing a problem while actually leaving the root unaddressed.
The fact is, there is a reason why cell reproduction skyrockets out of control and mushrooms into cancer. There is an underlying cause for autoimmune diseases where the body attacks it's own organs as invaders. There is a breakdown in the body which is indicating that perfectly normal food is not able to be processed, causing a severe reaction. There is always a reason. The question is, what is that reason? And where do we look to find it?
I really can't answer that question for everyone and all cases. But I can tell you this: there is a reason.
The fact that I know that there is a reason gives me patience on the long road to healing. If I perceived Valtrex as a cure for my chronic fatigue, I am quite sure I would be very discouraged. Because, to be honest, I still have lots of issues that haven't been solved yet. Perhaps this is solely because of the candida overgrowth in my gut, but it seems as though there must be something deeper as relates to my energy production and metabolism that is still broken.
At least I know. This realization has come after a long time and after many reminders, but now at least this truth is on the forefront of my mind.
With this knowledge, I can do battle. I can continue to search for answers and helpful therapies. I've found one in particular that seems to help, and for it I am thankful.
I urge you that if you are dealing with a chronic illness, stop searching for "the cure". More than likely, there isn't one. Some people boast of being able to cure their cancer through this or that, but there is a reason we are all skeptical when we hear such claims. (Such as, well if it was really that easy, why doesn't it work for everyone?) and the reason for our skepticism is because we intuitively know, even if we cannot articulate, that in every body, there are underlying reasons why the body is responding in the way it is.
Cancer. Depression. Chronic fatigue syndrome/myalgic encephalomyelitis. Muscle aches and pains. The common cold. AIDS.
I doubt if we'll ever find the cures. But we can look for the paths to healing. There may be more than one, but it is important to remember: there is one. If the path you're on isn't working, don't give into despair. Try a new one. Take notes of what works. And never give up. Hope may be hard to come by, but at least it never dies.*
Searching for healing,
~Nella Camille
*This last line from Joni Eareckson Tada's article in The Journal for the Christian Institute on Disability, "Hope is the Best of Things."
