Monday, March 25, 2013

HOW to Ask

My friend over at LymeLight recently wrote two fantastic posts on what to say or NOT say to a person battling a chronic illness. I really liked her suggestions. They were practical, down-to-earth, and reasonable. One of the most common questions to not ask is something like "What are your symptoms?" Sometimes even "How are you?" can be a very overwhelming question.

My mother and other question-driven, interrogative-loving people like her often struggle with what to say and what not to say (or should I say, what to ask, and what not to ask?). But there's a simple solution out there. It's a preface - a disclaimer - a means to healthier communication. 

In this post, I want to address not only what to say to a person who is facing chronic illness, but how to say it. Or, more precisely, how to ask for information. Often questions and statements themselves aren't problematic; rather it is the manner in which questions are asked that is stressful, discouraging, or unhelpful.

So. What if people asked some of those questions not to ask, but prefaced them by saying something like this...?

"Are you up to telling me how you're feeling today?"
"Would you like to talk about some of your symptoms right now?"
"Is now a good time to ask you questions about Lyme? If it isn't, can you call me when you're up to talking about it?"

This approach to question asking and information seeking is sooooo incredibly helpful for those dealing with a chronic illness. Why?

Because asking, "Are you up for this...?" give me the freedom and option to say "No." 

I'm beginning to realise that these two aspects of communication (one, asking permission, and two, the ability to say yes or no) are absolutely fundamental, but sadly overlooked more often than not. 

Another important facet to communication is realising that every individual is different. For instance, #2 on Warrior's post of things to say is "How can I pray for you?" For me, this was one of the most overwhelming questions to ever answer during the worst part of my illness. In fact, the only more stressful question was probably "How are you doing spiritually?" That was one reason I created this blog. I needed a place where I could answer too-stressful questions like that in one place for everyone to read. 

To this day, if you ask me a question like that, I might him-an-haw and beat around the bush, simply because I'm not up for answering. Don't take this as a personal thing. If or when I become comfortable, I may choose to confide in you. But if I don't, understand that it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I need boundaries in my communication with others for my own personal protection. And one great, easy way for me to set boundaries is to say, "No." And one great way for you to help me out in protecting my still-limited energy resources is to ask, "Is this okay...?" or "May I ask....?"

Just some thoughts, from me to you. :)

~Nella

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The Things I Remember... And the Things I Forget

It really is funny the things our brains choose to remember. I was talking to some friends last Friday evening, and one of my best friends was talking about when she first came to our church. "It was an Easter Sunday," I remembered. "You were wearing a green sweater." This kind of memory wouldn't seem all that incredible... except for the fact that I can't seem to remember silly, mundane, day-to-day things like if I've taken my meds yet or not.

So that I'm not laughing alone, I thought I could share some of these moments with you.

Can you tell what doesn't belong in the knife crock?
(Hint: It's pretty small, and it's orange.)

I know this is small, so it's hard to tell...
but I didn't clip my pinkie nail.
Happens. ALL. The. Time. !!!!!
And (I don't have a picture for this one, but...) I forget to order supplements I need when I place my ginormous Vitacost orders. #headdesk. Good thing we have The Vitamin Shoppe and Wegmans!

In other news, this is my 100th post on Peek-a-Boo! Yay! :) And it's the first day of Spring! Double, triple, quadruple yay! Now, for it to get warm. =D

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

And another 'chronic' is added to the list...!

Hello, you faithful handful of readers. :)

It's been a while since I've blogged, I know. Between candida cooking, starting work at Jackson Plumbing at the end of February and the same day coming down with a second bad cold of this winter, I've had my hands full. I had a phone appointment with Dr. Conley last week and he thinks these colds are really flares of a chronic sinus infection. That makes sense to me. Trouble is, I've never had a sinus infection before, so I was clueless on how to treat it. I started out treating for a cold: olive leaf extract, vitamin c, zinc, oil of oregano, and various herbal teas. But now I'm starting to get into the down-and-dirty let's-blow-this-baby-out-of-my-mucosis-membrane phase.

So the question is, how does one naturally treat a chronic sinus infection? Antibiotics are out of the question for me. My gut has enough issues.... Up to this point I've been trying to work with it by doing some pressure point/manipulation a to attempt to get the sinuses to drain. These seem to work well, especially in the morning. I wake up stuffy, do some of these, and can usually tell a difference within several minutes.

Today the fatigue struck along with the sinus pressure, so I was unable to do those. But I found out about this really cool contraption called a neti pot. It's a little tea pot sort of pitcher that you use for nasal rinsing. Unfortunately, I don't have one -_- I tried to improvise one this afternoon, but it didn't work out so great. But something similar worked. I read a blog about a young woman who naturally treated her chronic sinus infection. She was also dealing with candida (which, incidentally, causes sinus infections. Dur....). She visited a naturopathic doctor who soaked cotton balls in essential oils and stuffed them up her nose. I tried this with a few drops of peppermint and lavender. It burns like all get out, but if you can distract yourself for 10-15 minutes and leave it in there for that long, it does seem to help. I am contemplating doing this with oil of oregano tomorrow as well.

In other news, I am considering a completely grain free diet starting soonish. I've been having some not-great digestion even with the candida diet, so we'll have to see what I can do about that. More supplements are on their way from Vitacost, which will hopefully assist in this adventure. :)

Thanks for reading, and best of luck on your journey towards healing.

Camille

P.S. written on my mini; kindly pardon any typos or auto-correct non-corrects ;)

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Secrets: Healthy Hair

A few weeks ago I was out running errands with my dad. One stop was the library to drop off a book of Stefan's and pick up one for me. I was feeling fairly fizzy that day. The sun was shining, it wasn't too cold, and I actually felt healthy from top to bottom. As I checked out my book, the librarian handed it to me and said, "Wow! You have really beautiful, healthy hair!" A big grin split open my face. It wasn't the first time I've heard those words recently. It's a fact; my hair has been getting healthier as I do. "Thank you!" I returned brightly, and left the library, truly feeling beautiful and healthy.

Truth is...

...my hair hasn't always been healthy. I've been growing it out for what seems like years and finally it's obliging by actually seeming longer than it's been when I started. When I first got sick, the shampoo I was using really started to bother my hair. It was a more natural brand that what I'd been using, but it left me with a ton of dandruff and actually felt as though it was burning my scalp. I literally remember scratching my head and being able to see white come down on my clothes or the floor, like a little mini snowstorm. I quit that product and tried another one. Four or five shampoos later, I was still having the same problem. It seemed to get better after making the switch from daily to every-other day washings, but the problem persisted.

The vicious cycle

At some point I learned about how shampoo and conditioner work. Shampoo works as a detergent, stripping your hair of its natural oils. Then conditioner revitalizes the oils with synthetic ones. Shampooing has to be done every day, or else we complain of oily hair. Really, this is just the body's attempt to over compensate for the fact that you are stripping its natural oils on a regular basis. So you're into a vicious cycle.

My journey from 'Poo to No 'Poo

My first attempt to stop using conventional shampoo (or "no 'poo!!" as it is known in the natural community) was to try conditioner-only washing. Instead of being dry and flaky my scalp became super-duper oily. It looked unhealthy. But I was committed to making it work, so I stuck with it for a while. I understood "the purge" concept - that after using certain chemicals for so long your body reacts when you remove them or change do a different product.

My hair looked so bad and I was still having to wash at least every other day that I thought maybe it would be worth it to try washing my hair with just plain soap instead of shampoo. So I went out and bought Kirk's Castile bar soap. This lathered well and was fragrance free, and I was determined to be happy with it. But it wasn't working. I was trying to wash my face with it as well and the skin underneath my eyes was itchy, burning, and overly tender. My scalp was a little better, but not much. I stuck with it for a few weeks and finally gave it to my mom and said, "I can't take it any more! You use it!" (She switched to using Kirk's Castile instead of body wash about the same time I started using it for hair.) Since this time, I discovered I am allergic to coconut, and since castile soap is coconut based, I have a feeling this is why this product did NOT work for me at all!

I then switched to another bar soap called Yardley which has been made in London since the 16th century. I did not try this soap earlier because I knew it contained fragrance, and I wanted something that was fragrance free. But despite my preconceived ideas, my hair actually did better with Yardley than it did with the Castile soap. I was close, very close. I wasn't using shampoo, I was down to washing my hair about three times a week, and it was getting healthier. Oh, and by the way - my mother also switched from Castile to Yardley. Although Yardley does not lather and foam as much as Castile soap does, it gently exfoliates and doesn't leave a scum residue in the bathtub.

And back to poo!

One day while in The Vitamin Shoppe with my mom, I decided to scour all the ingredient labels of the natural shampoos to see if there was one that was not coconut based and that contained no sulfates. And I finally found one! It was even on sale! I proudly brought home a bottle of Biotin Shampoo by Millcreek and tried it at soon as possible. It does not lather, and it is more of a liquid gel than most shampoos, but it works for me. I love the pleasing peppermint-y smell of this product!

I wanted so badly to be a "no 'poo" person, but it just didn't work for me. But you know what else? I've found a product that...

1.) Makes my hair feel healthy.
2.) Makes my hair look healthy.
3.) Nourishes my scalp.
4.) Costs me about $1 a month.
...and... (you might or might not believe this)
5.) Enables me to wash my hair - not once every other day, not three times a week, but once every four or five days!

If I would have told the librarian who checked out my book, I don't think she would have believed me. But it's true. I still condition (I use Suave Naturals, which has done very well for me for many, many years), and yes, I still use 'poo, but *shrugs* my hair is happy. My hair is healthier, shinier, cleaner, and more beautiful than its ever been, but I wash it less and spend less on hair care product.

Who knew? :)

Buy it here from Vitacost, or here from the Vitamin Shoppe. They have other kinds I want to try, but some of them contain sulfates, which I shun, so just check the ingredients thoroughly before purchasing if there are particular things you are wanting to avoid for yourself. :)

Do you 'poo or no 'poo?

~Nella Camille

Monday, March 11, 2013

Thankful Things

The pleasure of serving other people.
I baked all these cookies for my dad and didn't eat a single one!
#candidawillpower


Essential Oils Diffuser
(doTERRA)

The ability to be able to be back to work!
(Jackson Plumbing)

The joy of visiting old people and shut-ins

Cinnamon cocoa! I will post a recipe soon.
(It doesn't really have any cocoa in it, so... don't be too disappointed.)

Little friends

Okay, this isn't just oatmeal and yogurt... though I am thankful for those things!
This thankful thing is thankfulness for the energy & capacity
to now make my own meals without feeling completely exhausted afterwards. 

Time well-spent with good friends, making memories. And Starbucks. :)

Saturday, March 9, 2013

Why It Matters: Everything Has A Reason

We've all seen the meme. We all have heard the stereotypes. And we're all tired of having to explain. Having a chronic illness is hard work.


Oh, and we all know the other one, too, right?



Both quite true.... :)

But now, let's be serious. If you are reading this, you probably know the truth about what it is actually like to have a chronic illness. This is because either you have a chronic illness yourself, you are a caretaker for someone who is fighting a chronic illness, or you are very close to someone who is in one of those two positions. 

Life is hard. I've never been a fan of makeup, but from what I've been told, it saves some of us chronically ill people from scaring the world half to death. We're pretty good liars and disguisers of pain. And most of us have learned when it is and when it is not appropriate for us to venture out into society. Maybe its only certain hours, certain days, or during certain times of weather. The ugly truth is: we are not free. We are bound - restricted - against our will. There are events that we would like to attend that simply fall outside of the parameters of our ability to be physically or cognitively present. This is why attending school, holding a job, or sustaining friendships or a relationship can be particularly challenging to those who do battle with bacteria, viruses, and infectious diseases every day. 

Today I want to specifically talk to you about church attendance while you have a chronic illness. The way of life I have been describing is NOT just my reality, dear readers. It is reality across the board for all believers in Jesus Christ battling cancer, fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, lupus, MS, or RA. 

We chronic sickies at times have all felt different... purposeless... useless... lost... sometimes uncared for... defective.

Lies, lies, lies

But as these lies set in, it is so easy in our weakened condition for us to give in to them. It is so easy for us to say, "No one will notice if I'm not at church again. It doesn't matter that much anyway." We find it easy to be invisible, just like our illness. For me, invisibility was necessary. It was the path to healing. But I couldn't be invisible to everybody. I needed someone - something

Thankfully, I had friends. I had people. You know who you are; you are probably reading this. I had Trial Buddies and I have Drug Buddies and I have a CFS/ME Buddy. I had caring relatives who did all they could. They didn't let this mat of algae wash up on the shore; they splashed themselves up underneath me and supported me. Not all of it was spiritual. A lot of it was physical. My wonderful BFF Hannah came and sat with my while my parents were out at church or other places, and we would watch movies together and explore forbidden, frozen delights such as iced coffee and ice cream. Everyone did what they could. And it was good. I was thankful.

If you are reading this and you have a chronic illness, let me speak to you specifically. Actually, let me change that. If you are reading this and you are in what feels like a never-ending struggle in any area, let me speak to you right now. You are not alone. No matter what the enemy says. You matter. Church matters. The church matters to you, right now

Why? Why does it matter? Because you can't be a new humanity on your own. You cannot support yourself, encourage yourself, convict yourself, serve yourself, utilize your gifts for yourself, hold out hope to the world, worship, pray, give, love, or discipline all by yourself. You need others to depend on, rely on, uphold you. That's why God ordained the Church. Not just believers, but believers in the context of local churches, part of a larger global church. 

"You can't be a new humanity on your own" (Professor Abner Chou). What is Abner talking about? It goes all the way back to Genesis 2, when God breathed the breath of life into Adam. He did the same thing in Acts 2 to the church at Pentecost when he breathed His spirit into the church. This connection is profound. It tells me - it tells the world - that although humanity failed in Eden, it will not fail ultimately, because God has a plan. He has a plan of redemption. And so, this thing we call "the church" is important... because it is part of that plan. And as members of the church, we too can be part of that plan. 

Oh, it matters if you are in church - whatever that looks like for you, even if its not being physical present - with or without a chronic illness. It matters. Everything matters. Everything has a reason. 

And now. A word to the other class of readers. To those who do not have a chronic illness. To those who are not in some kind of struggle that feels endless. To those all around. Be encouragers. Find ways to make your pals with chronic illness part of this new humanity. Find out ways to hold out hope to them and with them. Visit them. Send them cards. Read to them, don't just give them a book to read. Involve them in sedentary ministry: bulletin folding, envelope stuffing, prayer partnership, etc. Call them. Talk to them. Read their blogs (hehe). Give them things to laugh about. Enjoy your local church to the fullest. Serve deeply. Give radically. Love... just love. 

We're all in this together. You can't be a new humanity without me, and I can't be a new humanity without you. We are a body. We hurt, heal, and live... together

Just a little part of the big body,
Camille

P.S. Listen to Abner's message. It is amazing! It made me more excited about church than I have been in a long time. He also answers some other really relevant questions in this message. Listen on that page, or download it and keep it on your iPod. Listen... repeat. Listen... repeat. I've already listened to parts of it at least three times. It's good; trust me. :)

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Day 21

Three weeks of the anti-candida diet already. It's hard to believe for me they've gone by so fast! I very seldom have food cravings or am tempted to slip, and when I am, I remember my silly "vow, oath, and solemn promise" I wrote out for myself on day one. I've made a few accidental slips. For instance, in trying to see how my body would react to almonds (which I had been avoiding since mid-November after being told I was allergic to them), I sampled some almond butter I'd bought for myself (back in early November... :P) which I did not realise contained a bit of sugar. Then a few afternoons ago I wanted some cereal, which I almost never eat, but I decided one bowl of rice chex wouldn't hurt me. Guess what? It had sugar. Some gluten free tortilla chips I'd bought for myself also had some evaporated cane juice. Sigh... and they were so good, too! My other occasional "oopsie" is related to food combining. Certain foods are not allowed to be eaten together in a candida diet. A classic example is Spanish rice, which is one of my favorite foods. But grains aren't supposed to be eaten with meat. Accidentally did that twice last week (Tuesday and Friday) and ended up with a headache/cold/fatigue, so I'll have to make sure to NOT do that again!

Other than that, so far, so good! I'm finding tons of yummy new foods. I should write a cookbook when this is over. "100 ways to prepare orange vegetables!" I think I have a vitamin A deficiency, because I'm always wanting carrots, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, and acorn squash! Sweet potato pancakes are my all-time new favorite breakfast food. So delicious! Try them for yourselves! Recipe here is uber simple.

Monday, March 4, 2013

A Defense of Weirdness

In my journey toward healing, I have had to overcome certain self-errected or culturally-erected barriers. I thought the barriers were good and necessary, but I have realised that they are actually unnecessary and, in fact, more than a little silly. What held me back was not a legitimate problem, but rather a fabricated fear. I was scared... of the unknown.

So I took a leap. I did something different. 

For a while, I was almost scared of the steps I had taken. I felt somehow that maybe I had done something wrong. After all, I had been told my entire life it was wrong. But I think... in fact, I'm quite sure... I had been deceived.

There's nothing wrong with alternative medicine. In most cases, there isn't much that's even mystical about it. Practicing yoga, tai chi, or qi gong may have religious overtones in some eastern religions, but they are also perfectly valid forms of (great!) exercise. Meditation, tapping, chakra healing, massage therapy, muscle testing, reiki, acupuncture and acupressure might not have been originally based in science, but their claims have been verified by science over and over again. What I have learned is htat these things work, and more importantly, of what I have tried, they work for me.

It's hard to do something new, something different, something that at first feels a little weird. But who knows? It could be a rewarding experience... if you'll only try.

Blessings on your journey!




Sunday, March 3, 2013

10,000 Reasons... #9

Happy Sunday, readers!

Sundays always used to be very frustrating days for me. I was exhausted and never ready to get out of bed. Going to church was almost a painful experience. Either I would drag myself out of bed for Sunday School and be half-asleep by church time, or I would just go for church and still not be awake enough to sit upstairs with the congregation. Due to my many sound and light sensitivities, I opted for going to the physical church building but sitting in my dad's office with my laptop and listening to the live stream. 

I avoided people as much as possible. People required energy, and energy I didn't have. I felt like I was drugged from lack of sleep and just general spiritual lethargy. I wanted to be there, but I didn't. It was a pretty frustrating cycle.... 

In December I had experienced enough healing that I was able to start sitting upstairs during the church service. That was a milestone. I hadn't been doing that since... I don't know... April? I can't even remember when I stopped being able to sing and go to church. Maybe it's good that I don't remember. 

And then there were the haunting questions. "Do you really believe this? Can a God who put you through so much pain and suffering really love you? Why can't you feel Him anymore? Is this Bible true and reliable? What is real? Does any of it matter?" I wavered between cynicism and hope. I struggled, like Jacob, with God. I wrestled with living men, dead men (who wrote books), and maybe even angels. But God prevailed.... Or, I should say, is in the process of prevailing. I still struggle some times. I still rise up and challenge His authority. But I am seeing now. I know. The spiritual healing I've been longing for has begun, at long last, after months and months of darkness. I feel whole. 

I now am interacting on an almost-normal level with fellow church-goers. But I still hadn't been able to sing. It just took too much energy. And with the dark spiritual paths my soul was wandering down, to be honest I didn't really want to. I didn't want to casually affirm what I wasn't certain was true. 

Now, that has changed. And last Sunday, I sang. 

And it was beautiful. Not because I have a great voice. In fact, after not singing for so long, it was pretty wobbly and horrible. What was beautiful was that... it was hardly me. I mean, it was my voice. It was my lungs. And I got plenty tired out. But I wasn't singing like I used to... to show off my harmonies, to stretch my voice, to exercise my vocal chords. I was singing because it was... it was a well... springing up inside of me. And I couldn't hold it in. I didn't even think before I started to sing, I just did it. Automatically. Naturally. Spontaneously. 

Because our God is worthy of being sought,
~Camille


Edited using Pixlr.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Chronic Illness Cat

I have recently made the acquaintance of the Chronic Illness Cat. I like this critter. :)

Photo Credit: Laughter is the Best Medicine

This is so true! Every time I make plans I feel like they get changed on me!

Case in point: last time I got a job and started it in January, I had a cold within two days. What happens on Tuesday evening after my first day at work? I get a cold. Thankfully now I've discovered better ways to get over them, and it's pretty much cleared up now! :) 

HT to "Lyme Disease Warrior" from Laughing at Lyme for making the formal introduction between myself and the Chronic Illness Cat ;) 

Friday, March 1, 2013

Product Review: Ginger Tea

Photo Credit: Google Images
I read in the Complete Candida Yeast Guidebook that Ginger tea was a great digestive aid and went out and ordered a three-pack box from Vitacost. Ginger tea is also recommended for GAPS dieters, so if any of you GAPS people out there know a great ginger tea brand, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on yogi or other brands you may have tried.

As I have mentioned before with other teas, Yogi is generally my favorite brand. Also available from Yogi is their Lemon Ginger, which I would love to try! There's just no place you can go wrong with Yogi teas. They are a great brand, their teas are organic, their boxes are amazing, and they have great quotes printed on the string label. Really, try at least a box. C'mon. You know you want to. :)

However... I must admit, this tea isn't really my favorite when it comes to flavors. I'm not sure if it's the ginger, or if it's the black pepper that is also in the herbal blend... but something in there is awfully strong! This tea does well mixed with Pau d'Arco, and I have a feeling it would be great with lots of honey (if you're allowed that luxury). I think the lemon also might be a good one to try. Next time I think I will get a box of that and decide which I like better.