Hard Thing: Breathing

Most, if not all of you, are probably familiar with the Rebelution and their theme phrase, 'Do Hard Things.' It means just what it says; you should do hard things instead of easy things. Doing hard things is something I've struggled with over the course of the past several years, even before I became sick, and since 'doing hard things' is so imbedded into my brain, its a difficult thing to stop. My hard things are transforming before my eyes.

Breathing never used to be a hard thing, but through some self-discovery a few weeks ago, I realised that something so simple and basic as breathing was actually a hard thing for me. The process of a breath seems so simple, that it seems almost impossible to think a person could breath 'wrongly.' Inhale - pause - exhale - wait. Then repeat. Over and over again. Automatically. Unthinkingly, almost.

I realised that after I deeply inhaled, I would pause for a brief moment and then puff out my exhale with an inaudible snort-like action. Then I would breath in again, as rapidly as I had exhaled. This panting-like method of breathing was getting me nowhere. I'm not sure which is more remarkable - that I was breathing wrongly, or that it took me so long to notice it.

Breathing became a very hard thing. I had to work to self-correct this pattern of wrong breathing. I noticed that it was most difficult to breathe properly when I was under stress. A friend worked with me a few times over Skype on some relaxation techniques, and the biggest one (besides slowing down my speech and thinking) was breathing.

Now I enjoy breathing. I will sit still for minutes at a time and feel the rhythmic motion of the breath going in my nose, expanding my lungs, stretching my diaphragm. I will hold that breath, savor it, and slowly let it out. Its smooth now. It's automatic. It's not effortless, yet, but it is wonderful... enjoyable.

I love to breathe.