Sunday, August 19, 2012

Recumbency

I wrote in part 4 of an explanation of ME about one of my symptoms called orthostatic intolerance (OI). In layman's terms, OI basically means I have a difficult time doing anything while standing up, or if I do stand up and do something, I'm likely to get more tired while standing up than if I were to remain seated (in a certain posture) or reclining. If I stand up for too long, I get very dizzy. My ears might ring, or noise that is close by will sound distant. My blood pressure drops (and it usually runs low anyway). My vision will blur, or I will be unable to focus with my eyes. If I am really pushing it, I will begin to feel as though I will pass out at any moment. It's been difficult for me to do routine things, such as wash laundry, exercise, take care of a bit of routine cleaning, read, and even Skype with friends.

To say that it is difficult go through life with a condition like orthostatic intolerance is an understatement. But as this symptom and its effect have worsened, I truly am forced to rely more on God's grace and strength. What vestiges of my independent life I had I have had to surrender to Him this week as I've spent more days and more hours in bed than out.

OI reminds me of a word I haven't thought of in a while: recumbency. For those of you who have been around at Garden Heights for several years and knew Bill Davis, you may remember that this was one of his favorite words. Recumbency means to recline, rely, or trust, and is a Puritan word used to describe faith as resting in God. You might not have heard of recumbency, but you've probably heard of a recumbent bike. The idea is the same: recline, or rest. OI is providing me with a unique opportunity to rest in God--physically, and spiritually, when I am tempted to be anxious. God has already provided my atonement and redemption; I trust Him to meet my physical needs as well. The words of a song, "You'll Provide for Me," sum up my thoughts right now.

I will rest in Your sovereign plan
And bless Your gracious hand;
I know Your promise stands
That I'll see Your goodness in this land.

Leaning, reclining, in the state of deepest repose,
~Camille

(Yesterday morning I read an extensive PDF explaining two common types of OI (POTS and NMH). If you are interested in reading it, I commend it to you - but recommend that you have a good chunk of time on your hands. The entire document is 27 pages long. I must confess I only read the first 8 pages and then skimmed the rest.)

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Disclaimer: If you have a health resource you can't resist sharing, I would love to hear about it if you feel it will be truly helpful. I am already doing my best to fight this illness from a nutritional, structural, as well as medical stand-point. Please avoid comments with "miracle cure" stories about your Aunt Milly's granddaughter who drank coltsfoot tea for a week and has been fine ever since. I'm very thankful it worked for her in her case, but there are so many environmental, emotional, and other factors that make CFS/ME complicated and different from just an average illness. That being said, please leave thoughtful and uplifting comments below.