Hi, friends and readers :)
By this time, I would most definitely place myself in the category of a recovering CFS/ME patient. It's been a long, hard road. Hopefully this is the last time that EBV says "Boo!" to me as it jumps out of the shadows. It was nice to be able to say "Boo!" to it with vitamin IVs, a vacation in Atlanta, an extended prescription of Valacyclovir (Valtrex), completely cutting gluten out of my diet, and a ton of sleep.
Now, looking back, I'm beginning to be able to pick out the superlatives of my illness. When things were worst, what was worst, what I learned most, etc. Today I want to tell you about the most difficult part of my illness. I don't think it is something unique to me, either, because someone unexpectedly mentioned this in an e-mail as a difficult part of her trial as well.
It's isolation.
Life challenges and changes are, as a general rule, separate us from those we love. Death, moving away, breaking up a relationship, choosing a new life direction, and illness are all common changes or challenges which force us into isolation and separation. In some cases, it will lead to better, deeper, more fuller new relationships, but it really depends on the people you are around in your new situation and your ability to connect with them.
And that's why one of the important parts of healing is reconnection.
Society. To me, it's an exciting word. It's big. It's noisy. It's messy. But that big, noisy mess that can bring pain and shame also has limitless possibilities for love, growth, expansion, wonderment, dreams, and new horizons.
I love to explore it. I have loved exploring it. I've loved every conversation about the inauguration, literature, philosophy, women in the military, bacteria, wellness, weight loss, and doctor's appointments. I've loved every meal, car ride, cafe, and coffee shop where friendships have been rekindled. I've reveled in the phone dates and email conversations with far away friends. I've basked in the sense of new responsibility and independence that have come with getting a new job, depositing my first pay check, making my own loan payment, and using my debit card again.
World, you are beautiful.
No longer alone,
Camille
Saturday, January 26, 2013
1 comment:
Disclaimer: If you have a health resource you can't resist sharing, I would love to hear about it if you feel it will be truly helpful. I am already doing my best to fight this illness from a nutritional, structural, as well as medical stand-point. Please avoid comments with "miracle cure" stories about your Aunt Milly's granddaughter who drank coltsfoot tea for a week and has been fine ever since. I'm very thankful it worked for her in her case, but there are so many environmental, emotional, and other factors that make CFS/ME complicated and different from just an average illness. That being said, please leave thoughtful and uplifting comments below.
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I loved this post! I've gone through some of this with exhaustion as a new mom and it's isolation and consequent depression. Now that I'm back on my feet and making more connections...WOW what a difference! I love it!
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